Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in the retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in the agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions jobs, while the manufacturing sector has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning the manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and identifies key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that the manufacturing sector 'showed fluctuating trend' is vague, and the description of the agriculture sector as '1 millions jobs' contains a grammatical error. While the main features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant changes rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for data, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'while', and 'however' helps to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The final paragraph, labeled 'The overall look', is a bit abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the logical flow between sentences is smoother, avoiding the repetitive structure of 'in 1960... in 2020' for every point.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'proportion', 'fluctuating', and 'dominated' used correctly. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice issues, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for') and 'meagre 2 million jobs' (which is slightly informal). The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'witnessed a surge', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'remained relatively stable', to demonstrate a more flexible control of academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million' (missing verb), '1 millions jobs' (pluralization error), and 'the manufacture sectors' (incorrect noun form). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are persistent. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring they are error-free will help raise the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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