Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in the retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in the agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions jobs, while the manufacturing sector had highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning the manufacturing sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 61-year period. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview paragraph is slightly weak; while it attempts to summarise the main trends, it could be more analytical by explicitly contrasting the overall shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors. The data points are generally accurate, though the phrasing 'accounted a final figure' is slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview provides a clearer 'big picture' summary of the trends rather than just repeating specific sector rankings.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors, and a concluding overview. The use of cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'while', and 'however' helps to connect ideas and contrast the trends effectively. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by minor grammatical issues that affect the smoothness of the text. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is functional but could be more sophisticated. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the paragraphing is appropriate for an Academic Task 1 response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'fluctuating trend', 'declined marginally', and 'dominated'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for') and 'at meagre 2 million' (missing a verb). While you attempt to use varied vocabulary, some phrasing remains repetitive. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and ensure that verbs are used correctly with their corresponding prepositions. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For instance, 'jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million' lacks a verb, and 'that showed fluctuating trend' is missing an article. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'accounted a figure'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy in basic grammar would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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