Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in the retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in the agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions jobs, while the manufacturing sector has highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning the manufacture sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while it attempts to summarise the main changes, it lacks a clear, cohesive synthesis of the data. The description of the manufacturing sector as having a 'fluctuating trend' is a bit vague given the data provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant shifts more clearly and provides a more precise comparison of the starting and ending points across all categories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive, with phrases like 'The first look reveals' and 'The closer look shows' appearing as forced transitions. Additionally, some sentences are poorly connected, such as the final sentence of the third paragraph, which lacks a proper grammatical link to the preceding clause. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences flow more naturally into one another would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'increased gradually', 'sharply rose', 'declined marginally'). However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'accounted a final figure' and 'noted a final figure', which are not standard collocations. The use of 'meagre' is a good attempt at a more sophisticated adjective, but it is used incorrectly in the context of a sentence fragment. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more precise reporting verbs and nouns would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million' is missing a verb, and 'the manufacturing sector has highest jobs' lacks the necessary article 'the'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these minor errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for missing articles and verbs is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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