Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart depicts the proportion of jobs in US in 4 different sectors over the span of 61 years beginning from 1960.
The first look reveals that jobs in the retail shops stood at nearly 6 million jobs in 1960, which increased gradually over the period of time and accounted a final figure of 16 million jobs, whereas jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million jobs in 1960, but sharply rose in the succeeding years and noted a final figure of 16 million jobs in 2020.
The closer look shows that in 1960, jobs in the agriculture sector at nearly 6 million jobs, which declined marginally and recorded a final figure of 1 millions jobs, while the manufacturing sector had highest jobs at 15 million in 1960, that showed fluctuating trend in the succeeding years and accounted a figure of 13 million jobs.
The overall look clears that in the beginning the manufacturing sectors dominated in jobs market, while healthcare was the least, however in the end retail and health care were higher and agriculture was the last.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 61-year period. You successfully highlight the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while you mention the beginning and end states, it lacks a synthesis of the overall trajectory of the sectors. Additionally, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting, such as stating the agriculture sector ended at '1 millions jobs' (plural error) and describing the manufacturing sector as having a 'fluctuating trend' when the data shows a relatively steady decline. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant shifts rather than just listing start and end points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use basic cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'while', and 'however' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'The first look reveals' and 'The closer look shows' are somewhat informal and repetitive. To reach a higher band, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the progression between sentences is smoother, avoiding the reliance on 'The... look' structures to introduce each paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted for', 'declined marginally', and 'dominated'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'accounted a final figure' (should be 'accounted for a final figure') and 'noted a final figure'. The use of 'meagre' is a good attempt at descriptive language, but the overall lexical control is limited. To improve, focus on collocations—words that naturally go together—and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'jobs in the healthcare at meagre 2 million' (missing verb 'stood') and '1 millions jobs' (incorrect pluralization). Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack proper verb agreement, such as 'that showed fluctuating trend'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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