Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
this line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020
manufacturing intitally was the largest employer but decreased slowly around 1980 meanwhile retail and healthcare grew gradually and agriculture declined steadily.
looking first at manufacturing in 1960 it was 15 million and over the next 20 years it grew rapidly around 20 million. it declined to 16 million in 2000 before following decline to 13 million in 2020.
in contrast retail was 6 million in 1960 and grew further to 10 million in 1980 and it continued to grow around15 million in 2000 before reaching about 16 million in 2020.
turning to health and agriculture if we talk about health increased steadily while agriculture declined rapidly healthcare was around 3 million in 1960 which inclined to 5 million in 1980 and it continued to grow around 11 million in 2000 and before reaching 15 million in 2020. meanwhile agriculture had a major decline in 1960 it was around 6 million and it fell to 3 million in 1980 and 2000 it shares the same count and stayed constant. before declining to 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends or the most significant changes. While the main features are identified, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing data points rather than synthesising the information effectively. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences, such as the dramatic rise of healthcare compared to the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. The response addresses the prompt but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, such as 'turning to health and agriculture if we talk about health increased steadily'. The use of linking words is minimal, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. While the paragraphing is present, the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary signposting to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons. Improving the use of cohesive devices like 'whereas', 'in contrast', and 'subsequently' would significantly enhance the clarity of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is repetition of basic verbs like 'grew', 'declined', and 'increased'. Some word choices are slightly awkward or inaccurate, such as 'inclined to 5 million' (instead of 'increased to') and 'shares the same count'. The range of vocabulary is limited to the basic requirements of describing trends. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, such as 'experienced a downward trend', 'surged', or 'remained stable', to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Punctuation is inconsistent, with many sentences lacking full stops or capital letters, which affects readability. There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'four sector' (should be 'sectors') and 'grew rapidly around 20 million' (missing 'to'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of minor errors and the lack of control over sentence boundaries prevent the writing from achieving a higher score. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for punctuation would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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