Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The following line graph gives information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the contribute in economy in the United State of America since 1960 to 2020.
On the one hand, the X-axis represented year 1960 to 2020 and Y-axis showed jobs in millions. Additionally, there are four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Furthermore, the highest contribution in US economy is manufacturing around 20 millions in 1980 and lower one which is 2020 around 13 millions. However, this graph so many time fluctuation.
On the other hand, retail highest value in 2020 approximately 16 millions and agriculture is lowest contribution in US economy higher in 1960 which is near in 6 millions jobs.
To sum up, the line graph comparison different sectors in US since 1960 to 2020 and highest jobs vacancy in retail occupation. Additionally, agriculture sector is very low demand and shortest of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or a logical summary of the main trends. While it mentions the four sectors, the description of the data is fragmented and lacks precision. For example, stating 'this graph so many time fluctuation' is vague and does not accurately describe the trends. The response fails to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors, focusing instead on isolated data points. The information provided is often inaccurate or poorly presented, such as the claim that manufacturing was 20 million in 1980, which is not clearly supported by the provided context. To improve, you must identify the overall trends (e.g., which sectors grew and which declined) and use specific data to support these observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' is mechanical and does not accurately reflect the structure of the data comparison. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, making the text feel like a list of disconnected observations rather than a cohesive report. The concluding paragraph introduces new information ('highest jobs vacancy in retail') that was not clearly established in the body, which disrupts the flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'sectors of the contribute in economy' and 'shortest of jobs', which impede clarity. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends effectively; for instance, using 'highest value' and 'lowest contribution' repeatedly shows a lack of variety. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'jobs vacancy' instead of 'job vacancies'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning specific collocations for describing graphs, such as 'experienced a steady decline' or 'reached a peak of'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles (e.g., 'in US economy'), and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'retail highest value'). The sentence 'the X-axis represented year 1960 to 2020' is grammatically incorrect and lacks proper structure. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including the correct use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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