Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Given line graph shows data about the number of jobs in the four main sectors of the economy in the America from 1960 to 2020. These four sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.
The information is presented in such a way that it makes it clear about trajectory of the number of jobs throughout the sixty years. The data of jobs is counted in millions and maximum number that ever reached was 20 millions in the year 1980.
The manufacturing sector showed a significant rise in its early years and reached to 20 millions, but it later made the fall till 2020 where it landed on having approximately 13 millions jobs. Whereas the retail sector showed comparatively nice growth throughout the years and reached above 15 millions jobs before becoming static.
Similarly the agriculture also showed ridiculous rise from 5 million jobs to approximately above 15 million jobs and total contrast behaviour was shown by healthcare sector as it declined from 5 million jobs to around 3 million jobs then it became stagnant, but again made a downfall from year 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview of the trends, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you describe the agriculture sector as showing a 'ridiculous rise' to 15 million, which contradicts typical graph data for this sector, and your description of the healthcare sector is confusing and inconsistent with the visual information. While you identify the four sectors and attempt to highlight main features, the lack of precision in interpreting the data points hinders the task achievement. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the figures against the graph and avoid subjective language like 'ridiculous', which is inappropriate for an academic report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'total contrast behaviour was shown by'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly when transitioning between the different sectors. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the overall flow could be improved by using more varied and natural transitions to connect the comparisons between the sectors more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use some informal or imprecise phrasing, such as 'nice growth', 'ridiculous rise', and 'landed on having'. These choices do not reflect the formal, objective tone expected in an Academic Task 1 response. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations related to trends, such as 'experienced a steady increase' or 'remained relatively stable', rather than colloquial descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You make several grammatical errors, such as 'reached to 20 millions' (should be 'reached 20 million'), 'made the fall' (should be 'fell'), and 'data of jobs is counted' (should be 'job numbers are counted'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralisation. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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