Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The give line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the united states between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that the only sectors which was risen in the year 2020 are retail and healthcare, agriculture industry has declined in 2020.

To begin with, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors provide number of jobs to boost the united states economy. The manufacturing sector in the year 1960 has provided 15 million jobs to individuals following this in 1980 it has escalated to 20 million jobs opportunity, subsequently the sector has declined in the coming years in 2000 and 2020 by just providing 17 and 13 million jobs respectively. In contrast, agriculture industry has provided least jobs among all industries, in the year 1960, it has provided 6 million jobs to individuals by 1980 and 2000 it remained constant by offering equal number of jobs, and in 2000 it has slightly declined by only giving 4 million of jobs.

Furthermore, retail industry was equal to agriculture industry in the year 1960 but has increased by offering 16 million jobs. In addition, healthcare sector was the smallest jobs provider sector in the year 1960 by offering only 2 million jobs nevertheless, it has increased to 16 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have identified the main trends and provided data points to support your descriptions. However, there are significant inaccuracies in your reporting of the data. For example, you state that the healthcare sector was the smallest in 1960, but the graph shows it was actually the retail sector. Furthermore, your summary of the trends is slightly confusing; you mention that only retail and healthcare rose by 2020, but the manufacturing sector also shows a complex trend that requires more precise handling. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your text with the visual data to avoid factual errors, and provide a clearer overview of the most significant changes across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned above. Additionally, some transitions feel a bit mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central theme and that the connections between sentences are more natural and varied, rather than relying on a limited set of linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'escalated', 'declined', and 'constant'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'provide number of jobs' instead of 'provide a number of jobs' or 'create jobs'. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'the only sectors which was risen'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'witnessed a rise', 'remained stable') and ensure you use articles and plural forms correctly to maintain a professional tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'sectors which was risen') and tense usage (e.g., 'agriculture industry has declined in 2020' when referring to a past trend). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences that lack proper conjunctions or full stops. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your tenses are consistent when describing historical data. Proofreading for basic sentence boundaries will also help improve clarity.

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