Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph giving the information about number of jobs of ecenomy between 1960 to 2020 in US in four sectors.
Overall, the number of four sectors such as Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare. the manufacturing is at highest point 1960 to 1980 and then slight downwords 1980 to 2020. Additionally agriculture is at lowest point 1980 to 2020.
First of all the manufacturing is at 15 in 1960 to upwords 1980 and then slight down words 1980 to 2020. Additionally the Retail is slighting countinusely upword 1960 to 2020 year after years.further more in the sectors of retail and health care is similar to each other. both are both are reach at lowest points to highest points.
further more Agriculture comes below in 1960 to 1980 and then it is at lowest point 1980 to 2020. Additionally health care improves in these year 1960 to 2020 from the points 2 to 15. it countinusely up words 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data, but it fails to provide a clear overview or accurately report the main features. The description of trends is often confusing, such as stating manufacturing is at its 'highest point' between 1960 and 1980 without clear reference to the data points. The report lacks precision, and the comparisons between sectors are underdeveloped. While the prompt is addressed, the information is presented in a fragmented way that does not fully highlight the key trends or significant changes over the 60-year period. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant peaks and troughs and describing the overall direction of each sector clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive and often misused, such as the frequent, awkward use of 'Additionally' and 'further more'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. The sentences are often disjointed, and the lack of proper transition between ideas hinders the flow of the report. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'highest point', 'lowest point', and 'upwords' (upwards) to describe trends. There are several spelling errors, such as 'ecenomy', 'downwords', 'slighting', and 'countinusely', which distract the reader. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with the necessary precision required for an Academic Task 1 response. To achieve a higher score, the student should learn and apply more varied and accurate terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a sharp decline', or 'showed a steady increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments ('The graph giving the information...') and missing verbs or articles. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and the use of prepositions is often incorrect (e.g., 'at 15 in 1960 to upwords 1980'). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is often misused. Significant improvement in basic sentence construction and proofreading for grammatical accuracy is necessary to reach a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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