Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph depicts the four different job sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

A gradual decrease can seen in manufacturing from 1960 to 2020 whereas, retail sector grow from 5 million to over 15 million jobs in 2020.

There was a dramatical increase in the healthcare sector which was below 5 million jobs in 1960 go up to 17 million in 2020.

In contrast, Agriculture sector seen slowly decline from 1960 to 2020 however, remained unchanged from 1980 - 2000. A steep jump in manufacturing has seen from 1960 to 1980 marked at 20 million jobs more than in any other sector. Retail and Healthcare standing same at just above 15 million in 2020 compared to manufacturing at below 15 million jobs.

Overall, Healthcare and Retail sectors kept growing over the period of 1960 to 2020. The number of jobs in agriculture go down from 1980 to 2020 leaving this sector at the lowest while manufacturing significantly fell to 13 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state there was a 'steep jump in manufacturing' from 1960 to 1980, whereas the graph shows a decline during that period. Additionally, the description of the retail sector is slightly confusing, and the overall summary lacks a clear, cohesive synthesis of the data. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of trends (e.g., 'increase', 'decline') strictly match the visual evidence provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by inconsistent referencing and awkward transitions. For example, the sentence 'Retail and Healthcare standing same at just above 15 million' lacks a clear connection to the previous sentence. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'Overall', the internal structure of the sentences is often disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the one before it, creating a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word forms and awkward collocations. You use 'dramatical' instead of 'dramatic' and 'seen slowly decline' instead of 'saw a slow decline'. There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive adjectives. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'a steady decline' or 'a significant surge', and ensure you are using the correct grammatical form of the words you choose.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and sentence construction. Examples include 'A gradual decrease can seen' (missing 'be'), 'Agriculture sector seen slowly decline' (missing 'a' and incorrect verb form), and 'Retail and Healthcare standing same' (missing a main verb). These errors are frequent and occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. To improve, you should focus on basic sentence structure, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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