Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economical sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. Unit of jobs are in millions.
Overall, in the graph, there are four sectors of jobs in the US, which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. At the starting, manufacturing had the most job opportunities. Whereas, healthcare had the least amount of jobs but at last, it was the most successful sector of all along with retail.
In 1960, manufacturing jobs had the most job opportunities, around 15 million jobs. It increased significantly till 1980 and became 20 million. But then it gradually decreased as the time passes and in 2020, it became a job market of around 13 million. Also, agriculture had a job market of around 6 million in 1960. But gradually it decreased and in 2020 it was approximately 2.5 million.
On the other hand, retail jobs had around 6 million jobs in 1960. Over the time, it increased gradually and in 2020, it became a sector with around 16 million jobs. Similarly, healthcare had the least amount of job in 1960. However, the job market changed significantly, and in 2020 healthcare had approximately 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in dominance from manufacturing to healthcare and retail. However, the overview could be more precise; for instance, describing the trends as 'successful' is slightly informal and imprecise for an academic report. Additionally, while you mentioned the starting and ending points, some of the intermediate data points could be more clearly integrated to highlight the 'main features' more effectively. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors or time periods. The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Similarly', and 'However' helps to guide the reader through the comparisons. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For example, the phrase 'At the starting' is non-standard and disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'it') is always unambiguous would help elevate the score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends, such as 'increased significantly', 'gradually decreased', and 'job market'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'economical sectors' should be 'economic sectors', and 'at last' is not the most appropriate way to refer to the end of a time period in a graph. The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but to reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise academic collocations and avoid slightly awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. Examples include 'Unit of jobs are in millions' (should be 'The units are in millions'), 'as the time passes' (should be 'as time passed'), and 'least amount of job' (should be 'fewest jobs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for more careful proofreading, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and tense consistency when discussing historical data.
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