Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph depict the information about that number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data has been calibrated in jobs in million.

Overall, the vivid that agriculture was highest jobs in million. However, healthcare was less in job million.

To commence with, In 1960 healthcare was increased the economy 2010 in US, However 2010 and 2020 contributed healthcare and agriculture was3 million and 15milion on top.

moving towards in further information, retail and manufacturing was economy in he US, 1960 jobs in 5 million after that, manufacturing was 15 million, moreover, in 1980 retail was 20 million and in 2020 retail was 15million was stable, Manufacturing was very highest 20 million in 1980. furthermore, in 2020 was 12 jobs in million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have attempted to identify some trends, the information is presented in a fragmented and often inaccurate manner. The main features of the graph are not clearly highlighted, and the comparisons between sectors are confusing and difficult to follow. Several data points are misread or poorly articulated, such as the mention of '3 million' and '15 million' without clear context. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the trends and support your points with accurate data from the graph while meeting the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there are attempts at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'However' and 'moreover' which do not effectively link the sentences. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. To improve, focus on using transition signals to connect ideas logically and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping sectors by their growth or decline patterns.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic phrasing. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'calibrated in jobs in million' and 'was very highest'. The lack of precision in describing trends (e.g., 'was increased the economy') hinders the clarity of the report. You should aim to use more precise terminology for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns will help you convey information more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph depict'), incorrect sentence structures, and missing articles. The attempt at complex sentences is largely unsuccessful, leading to confusion. For example, 'moving towards in further information, retail and manufacturing was economy in he US' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing prepositions and incorrect pluralization.

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