Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, employment in retail and agriculture sectors increased over the period, while manufacturing experienced a rise followed by a decline. In addition, healthcare remained relatively stable throughout the period, despite some fluctuations.
An analysis of the graph reveals that, in 1960, the manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs and rose steadily to 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling to approximately 13 million in 2020. Moreover, the healthcare sector recorded approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 and declined slightly in 1980, accounted for around 3 million jobs. The figure for the healthcare sector reached approximately 3 million jobs by 2020.
From the image it is evident that the retail sector recorded 6 million jobs in 1960, and the figure witnessed a dramatic increase in 1980, with 10 million jobs, after that it rose gradually to approximately 16 million by 2020. A similar pattern is observed in the agriculture sector, where it initially recorded nearly 2 million jobs in 1960, and this figure climbed to 11 million in 2000. Finally, the figure reached 16 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and selects key features to support the description. You successfully identified the contrasting movements of the four sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector 'declined slightly in 1980' and reached '3 million jobs by 2020', which contradicts the visual evidence of a steady upward trend. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is slightly confusing regarding the timeline. To improve, ensure that data points are transcribed precisely from the graph to avoid factual errors, which are critical in Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'after that it rose gradually' is a bit clunky. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task requirements.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounted for', 'witnessed a dramatic increase', and 'fluctuations'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There are some repetitive structures and minor issues with word choice, such as 'from the image it is evident', which is slightly unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and use more precise collocations to describe trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear, there are some grammatical slips, such as 'declined slightly in 1980, accounted for around 3 million jobs', which is a fragmented construction. Another error is 'where it initially recorded nearly 2 million jobs', where the relative pronoun 'where' is used incorrectly to refer to a sector rather than a place. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally easy to follow, and the punctuation is mostly accurate. Increasing the variety of complex structures would improve the score.
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