Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph illustrates the change in number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the United State from the year 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing industries provided the larger number of jobs, whereas healthcare sector contributed much less to the economy. However, healthcare outraced manufacturing at the end of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing industries provided occupations to 15 millions of people, which then peaked at 20 millions by 1980, before dropping to about 18 millions by 2000. This figure continued declining until it reached about 8 millions in 2020. In contrast, healthcare sector contributed only about 3 millions of jobs, making it the most lesser contributor of the economy. The figure rose to 5 millions in 1980 and showed steady growth reaching to around 16 millions in 2020.

Retail and agriculture sectors accounted for around 6 millions of employments in 1960.In the year 1980 , retail jobs followed upward trend at about 10 millions ,before peaking at 15 millions and subsequently, increased to about 16 millions. In contrast, agriculture sectors declined dramatically at around 3 millions and plateaued at this figure until 2000. It decreased slightly at about 2 millions, making the lower contribution on economy of the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the rise in healthcare. The overview is clear and highlights the main shift at the end of the period. However, some data points are slightly inaccurate or imprecise, such as stating manufacturing reached 8 million in 2020 when the graph shows a different figure, and the description of the retail sector's trajectory is somewhat confusing. While the main features are reported, the analysis could be more precise in its comparison of the sectors to fully meet the requirements of a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for the sectors, and a concluding overview. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Overall', and 'before peaking at' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the description of the retail sector's growth is disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher level of cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'industries', 'occupations', 'contributed', and 'plateaued'. There are some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most lesser contributor' (should be 'smallest contributor') and 'outraced' (which is not the standard term for data trends; 'overtook' would be better). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, the lack of precision and occasional awkward phrasing limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'number of employments' (employment is uncountable), '15 millions of people' (should be '15 million people'), and 'making the lower contribution on economy' (should be 'to the economy'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control of articles and pluralization needs improvement to ensure greater accuracy.

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