Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment in the retail and agriculture sectors increased over the period, while the manufacturing sector experienced a rise followed by a decline. In addition, the healthcare sector remained relatively stable throughout the period, despite some fluctuations.

An analysis of the graph reveals that, in 1960, the manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs and rose steadily to 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling to approximately 13 million in 2020. Moreover, the healthcare sector recorded approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 and declined slightly in 1980, accounting for around 3 million by 2020.

Furthermore, the retail sector recorded 6 million jobs in 1960, and the figure witnessed a dramatic increase in 1980, with 10 million jobs, after that it rose gradually to approximately 16 million by 2020. A similar pattern is observed in the agriculture sector, where it initially recorded nearly 2 million jobs in 1960, and this figure climbed to 11 million in 2000. Finally, the figure reached 16 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have provided a clear overview and selected the main features of the graph. You successfully identified the trends for all four sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you stated the healthcare sector declined to 3 million by 2020, whereas the graph shows it remained relatively stable or even increased slightly compared to 1960. Additionally, describing the retail sector's growth as 'dramatic' in 1980 is a subjective interpretation that could be more precise. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed from the visual information provided, as precision is critical in Task 1.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Finally' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the structure of your cohesive links. For example, the phrase 'after that it rose gradually' is a bit clunky; using a relative clause or a participle phrase would improve the flow and cohesion of the paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'accounted for,' 'rose steadily,' 'declined slightly,' and 'climbed.' You use some less common items, though there is room for more sophisticated collocations. Some word choices are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'recorded' and 'figure.' To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'number of jobs' or 'increase/decrease' to show greater flexibility. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and does not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free, which allows for easy reading. There are minor issues with punctuation and sentence construction, such as the comma splice in '10 million jobs, after that it rose gradually.' A more accurate structure would be '10 million jobs, after which it rose gradually.' Despite these minor slips, your control over grammar is generally good, and the errors do not cause any confusion for the reader.

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