Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in the us from year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us, in retail and healthcare sectors are rapidly increase. on the other side, the down fall was seen in the agriculture sector.
To begin with, the growth of the manufacturing sector was very highest in 1960, after 20 years growth of this sector was on in peak. But then the down fall trend was seen and in 2020 it remain 12 millions jobs only. second downward trend were observed in the agriculture because jobs were decrease from 6 millions to 2 millions in 2020.
moving further on remaining sectors. Growth were seen in retail along with healthcare sectors. in these sectors similar trend in between 1960 to 2020. Healthcare sector as 2 millions jobs in 1960 and other has 6 millions jobs both increase by 4 millions jobs in 1980 and in 2020 they has 16 millions jobs are available.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying the main trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the 'down fall' in manufacturing and agriculture, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or lacks precision (e.g., stating manufacturing was at its 'peak' after 20 years, which is not clearly supported by the graph). The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly articulated to highlight the 'main features' as required by the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate (e.g., 'moving further on remaining sectors', 'second downward trend were observed'). Some transitions feel forced, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the distinction between the retail and healthcare sectors becomes muddled. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the progression of ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety needed for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'growth', 'increase', and 'down fall'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the growth of the manufacturing sector was very highest' and 'they has 16 millions jobs are available'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed', and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in their correct forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('jobs were decrease', 'they has 16 millions jobs'), incorrect tense usage, and missing articles ('in the us', 'in retail and healthcare sectors'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences lacking proper capitalization or ending in awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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