Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the change in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from the year 1960 to 2020. Overall, employment in manufacturing and agriculture industries experienced a downward trend, whereas the retail and healthcare sectors experienced substantial growth. Although manufacturing sectors employed the largest number of people initially, healthcare overtook it at the end of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing industries provided occupations to 15 million of people, which then peaked at 20 million by 1980, before dropping to about 18 million by 2000. This figure continued declining until it reached about 8 million in 2020. In contrast, healthcare sector employed only about 3 million of people, making it the most unpopular sector of the economy. The figure rose to 5 million in 1980 and showed steady growth reaching around 16 million in 2020.

Retail and agriculture sectors accounted for around 6 million of employments in 1960. In the year 1980, retail sectors followed an upward trend at about 10 million ,before peaking at 15 million and subsequently, increased to about 16 millions. In contrast, agriculture sectors declined dramatically at around 3 millions and plateaued at this figure until 2000. It decreased slightly at about 2 millions, making the less jobs provider sectors in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the task well. You have successfully identified the main trends and made relevant comparisons between the four sectors. The overview is clear and highlights the key shifts, such as the healthcare sector overtaking manufacturing. You have supported your points with data from the graph, which is essential for this task. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, the description of the retail sector's peak and the agriculture sector's final figures could be more precisely aligned with the visual data provided. Overall, the response is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Although', and 'before peaking at' to link information effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group the sectors. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother; some sentences feel slightly disjointed. Additionally, ensure that referencing is consistent throughout the text to avoid any ambiguity regarding which sector is being discussed in the final paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'downward trend', 'substantial growth', and 'plateaued'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as '15 million of people' (should be '15 million people') and 'less jobs provider sectors' (should be 'the sector providing the fewest jobs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and noun phrases would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization and articles, such as '16 millions' (should be '16 million') and 'the healthcare sector' (missing 'the' in some instances). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of quantifiers. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more participial phrases, would also be beneficial.

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