Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The provided line graph illustrates the change in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from the year 1960 to 2020. Overall, employment in manufacturing and agriculture industries experienced a downward trend, whereas the retail and healthcare sectors experienced substantial growth. Although manufacturing sectors employed the largest number of people initially, healthcare overtook it at the end of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing industries provided occupations to 15 million of people, which then peaked at 20 million by 1980, before dropping to about 18 million by 2000. This figure continued declining until it reached about 8 million in 2020. In contrast, healthcare sector employed only about 3 million of people, making it the most smallest sector of the economy. The figure rose to 5 million in 1980 and showed steady growth reaching around 16 million in 2020.

Retail and agriculture sectors accounted for around 6 million of jobs in 1960. In the year 1980, retail sectors followed an upward trend at about 10 million, before peaking at 15 million and subsequently, increased to about 16 million. In contrast, agriculture sectors declined dramatically to around 3 million and plateaued at this figure until 2000. It decreased slightly to about 2 million, making it the sector with the fewest jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You successfully identified the main shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the main trends. However, the report could be improved by ensuring more precise comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals. For example, while you mention the sectors individually, explicitly contrasting their relative sizes at the start and end points would strengthen the analysis. Overall, the response is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a logical progression of ideas. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'whereas', and 'before dropping to' to link information effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information, with one paragraph focusing on manufacturing and healthcare, and another on retail and agriculture. The flow of information is smooth, and the relationship between the different sectors is generally easy to follow. To reach a higher band, ensure that referencing is always precise and avoid any slight repetition in sentence structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information clearly, using terms like 'downward trend', 'substantial growth', 'plateaued', and 'dramatically'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most smallest' (a double superlative) and '15 million of people' (the 'of' is unnecessary here). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher level of sophistication. Using more precise collocations and avoiding redundant prepositions would enhance the lexical quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There is good control over grammar, and most sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor grammatical slips, such as 'healthcare sector employed' (missing the article 'the') and '15 million of people' (the 'of' is incorrect). These are non-systematic errors that do not hinder the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on consistent article usage and ensuring that noun phrases are constructed accurately without unnecessary prepositions.

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