Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrate the number of employment in four different type of the economy between 1960 to 2020 in us, major figure are in millions.

between 1960 to 2020 manufacturing sectors have good number of jobs however in agriculture department jobs are decrease constantly.

In 1960 there are 15 millions jobs in manufacturing unit on the other side health care sector have only 3 . also manufacturing sectors is increase in 1980 but after it decrease constantly and in 2020 is near the 15 however health care sector is continuously increase as a result in 2020 is just above 15.

In 1960 retail sector have only 5 millions , after a year it continuously increase so that in 2020 is near the 15 apart from theme agriculture sector have only also 5 but after it stably decrease and in 2020 it near the 0 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the overview is missing, and the description of the data is somewhat mechanical. You have successfully highlighted the growth in health care and retail, and the decline in agriculture, but the analysis lacks the necessary depth and precision required for a higher band. To improve, ensure you include a clear overview of the main trends and ensure the response meets the length requirement to fully develop your points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. You rely on simple transitions like 'also' and 'however', which makes the flow feel repetitive and mechanical. There is a lack of variety in how you link ideas, and some sentences feel disconnected from the previous ones. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'furthermore') to guide the reader through your analysis more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'increase' and 'decrease' without variation. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing unit' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'good number of jobs'. Additionally, there are minor errors in phrasing, such as 'major figure are in millions'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline steadily', or 'surpass', and ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph illustrate', 'manufacturing sectors is increase') and article usage (e.g., 'in us', 'in agriculture department'). You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, with very few attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Furthermore, try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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