Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph presented below illustrates the number of employment in four different fields in the United States between the year 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the line graph describes jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare departments of US, where second and third mentioned sector has shown significant growth in their workforce with passing years.

To begin from 1960, highest were in manufacturing field comprising of 15 millions workers and lowest were in government or private hospitals accounting of less than 5 million staff. The remaining two sectors had similar number of jobs ( 6 million ).

After two decades, all the three departments other than agriculture (having 5 million jobs) showed gradual raise in their staff members.

Moving forward, in 2000, retail and healthcare sector had 15 and 11 million vacancies respectively. However manufacturing began to descend the number of people working for them. Whereas for agriculture, the employment remained steady throughout 20 years.

Finally in 2020, all fields had more or less than 15 million jobs, leaving farming behind which has drastically less worker ( only about 1.5 million).

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you mention the 'second and third mentioned' sectors showed growth, but the data for manufacturing (the first mentioned) actually shows a significant decline over the period. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as stating 'all fields had more or less than 15 million jobs' in 2020, which is a vague summary of the provided data. To reach a higher band, ensure your overview accurately reflects the main trends and that data points are cited with greater precision.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, moving from an introduction to an overview and then into specific details. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'To begin from 1960' and 'Moving forward'. The referencing is sometimes unclear; for example, 'all the three departments other than agriculture' is confusing because there are four sectors in total. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that references to groups of data are precise will help improve the flow and clarity of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'workforce', 'vacancies', and 'descend'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'number of employment' is incorrect; it should be 'number of employees' or 'employment levels'. 'Gradual raise' is also incorrect; 'raise' is a verb, whereas 'rise' is the noun required here. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on correct word forms and collocations will significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'highest were in manufacturing field' (missing articles) and 'accounting of less than 5 million' (incorrect preposition). You also have issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'all the three departments... showed gradual raise'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on article usage, correct prepositional phrases, and ensuring that nouns and verbs agree in number.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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