Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment in the retail and agriculture sectors increased over the period, while the manufacturing sector experienced a rise followed by a decline. In addition, the healthcare sector remained relatively stable throughout the period, despite some fluctuations.

An analysis of the graph reveals that, in 1960, the manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs and rose steadily to 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling to approximately 13 million in 2020. Moreover, the healthcare sector recorded approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 and declined slightly to around 3 million in 1980, remaining relatively stable thereafter.

Furthermore, the retail sector recorded approximately 5million jobs in 1960 and increased to 10 million in 1980. After that, the figure rose gradually to approximately 16 million by 2020. A similar pattern is observed in the agriculture sector, which initially recorded nearly 2 million jobs in 1960, and this figure climbed to 11 million in 2000. Finally, the figure reached approximately 16 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have selected key features, such as the rise and fall of the manufacturing sector and the growth in retail and agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state the healthcare sector declined to 3 million in 1980, but the graph shows it remained relatively stable or slightly increased from its starting point. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector's growth is slightly imprecise regarding the timeline. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are transcribed with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly highlighted.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group the data effectively. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'After that' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. The progression of ideas is clear, although the transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the healthcare sector could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'accounted for', 'rose steadily', 'recorded', and 'remained relatively stable' are appropriate for a task of this nature. There is an attempt to use varied reporting verbs, which is positive. However, the range of vocabulary is somewhat standard. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or synonyms for 'increased' and 'decreased' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'experienced a marginal growth') to show greater flexibility and precision in your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response displays a good control of grammatical structures. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, such as 'The line graph compares...' and '...which initially recorded nearly 2 million jobs in 1960, and this figure climbed to 11 million in 2000.' The sentences are generally error-free, and punctuation is used correctly. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. To improve, you could incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as using participle clauses or passive voice, to enhance the sophistication of your grammatical range.

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