Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector maufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the united states between 1960 and 2020. number of jobs measured in millions.
overall, manufacturing was most pupolar highest job in the start of 1960. Moreover, the agriculture was lowest jobs over the periods. although, the retail and healthcare both was crossed manufacturing and peak in 2020.
looking at the details, in 1960 manufacturing was started from 15 millions jobs, reached at 20 millions in 1980 with peaked level and sarply climbed in 2000 at 17 millions. laterally rose these figure to 12 millions jobs in 2000, While reatil was 7 millions jobs in 1980, steadly sharped to stop in 15 millions in 2000 and again upward these figure to reached 17 millions in 2000.
turning to the healthcare started from 3 millions jobs to reached 5 milliloins in 1980. after that started dramitically chages occured to stop on 2000 at 17 millions jobs . which are same to retail in final year. in contrast, the agriculture started in 1960 at 7 millions jobs after that dropped in 1980 at 3 millions jobs, and literally fall to reached 2 millions jobs in 2000,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline of manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth of healthcare and retail. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, the description of manufacturing trends is contradictory, and the timeline references (e.g., '2000' used repeatedly for different data points) are unclear. The overview is present but lacks precision in summarizing the overall shifts. To improve, ensure that the data points cited match the graph accurately and avoid repetitive or confusing time references.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently disrupted by unclear referencing and mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'laterally rose these figure' and 'steadly sharped to stop' are difficult to follow, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In contrast', they are often used incorrectly or do not effectively link the information. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence clearly follows the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and contains frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'maufacturing', 'pupolar', 'reatil', and 'dramitically'. Some phrases are non-standard, such as 'reached at 20 millions' and 'peak in 2020'. While the reader can generally understand the intended meaning, the lack of precision and the high frequency of spelling errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'reached a peak of') would be highly beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('agriculture was lowest jobs'), incorrect verb forms ('manufacturing was started'), and misuse of prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high density of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. To improve, practice basic sentence construction and proofread for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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