Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph gives information about number of jobs in four sectors including manufacturing, retail , agriculture and healthcare in US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the US economy has faced fluctuations in job market in the period of 60 years. The job market of healthcare has increased in all years while the agricultural sector and reatil started at same point but has not contributed to the economy in all years significantly.
In the the of manufacturing, the jobs market rose from 15 millions to 20 million from 1960 to 1990 and then it dropped continuously till 2020. The job market in the retail sector started from 6 millions in 1960 and rose exponentially till 2000 after which the its contribution towards economy remained constant, no significant change was observed.
The agriculture sector was also at 6 million in 1960, but it declined to 3.5 millions in 1990, remained at same till 2000 and then faced more drop in country's economical support till 2020.
The healthcare sector which was started from 2 million jobs in 1960 increased to 5 millions in 1990 which further increased to 11 millions in 2000 and reached to 16 millions till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the steady growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; it mentions 'fluctuations' which is not entirely accurate for all sectors, as some show consistent trends. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant contrast, such as the inverse relationship between the healthcare and agricultural sectors. The data points are generally accurate, though ensure you consistently use the correct units (e.g., 'millions' vs 'million').
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In the the of' (which contains a typo) and 'further increased to', but the range of linking words is somewhat limited. To improve, try to use more sophisticated transition signals to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader navigate the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'exponentially', and 'contributed'. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs market' (should be 'job market') and 'the the of' (a repetition error). Additionally, 'faced more drop in country's economical support' is slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a downward trend' instead of 'faced more drop'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'the healthcare sector which was started from 2 million jobs' (passive voice error) and 'remained at same' (missing article). There are also minor punctuation issues, such as the space before the comma in 'retail ,'. To achieve a higher band, aim for more error-free complex sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement and article usage are consistent throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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