Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors showing changes in economic condition between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs people getting is in fluctuation can be seen. In addition, employment in manufacturing company is more than other field.

Looking more closely at the figures, the number of people who are getting employment opportunities in retail increased from 6 to 16 over the time. Similarly, healthcare sector showed a rapid rise from 2.5 to 16. By contrast, agriculture sector decreased rapidly.

In terms of manufacturing sector the trend was rather different. Manufacturing sector is highest above all in 1960 within 20 years of time period it increased to 20 in 1980 but after that it gradually decreased to 12 in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief and lacks sufficient detail to fully cover the task. For example, you mention the retail and healthcare sectors increased, but you do not provide enough comparative analysis or specific data points to fully illustrate the shifts over the 60-year period. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more detailed comparisons between the sectors throughout the time frame provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'Looking more closely at the figures' and 'In terms of' are used, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The overall progression of ideas is clear, but the lack of depth in the body paragraphs makes the flow feel somewhat disjointed. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the overall trend.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'showed'. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily'. Furthermore, there are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'manufacturing company' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'in fluctuation can be seen', which is grammatically awkward. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs would help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For instance, 'the number of jobs people getting is in fluctuation' is grammatically incorrect, and 'within 20 years of time period it increased' lacks necessary prepositions or articles. There are also issues with tense consistency and article usage (e.g., 'agriculture sector' should be 'the agriculture sector'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and proper article usage.

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