Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates about job market trend in four main economical sectors of US including manufacturing, retail , agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the US economy has faced fluctuations in job market in the period of 60 years. The job market of healthcare in US has recorded the highest number jobs from 1960 to 2020. The agricultural and retail sector started at same economic level but both faced opposite growth trends, downward and upward respectively.
In manufacturing sector, the jobs market rose from 15 million to 20 million from 1960 to 1990 and then it dropped continuously till 2020. The job market in the retail sector started from 6 million in 1960 and rose exponentially till 2000 after which the its economic valuation changed marginally.
The agriculture sector was at 6 million in 1960, but it declined to 3.5 million in 1990, remained unchanged till 2000 and then hit a low of 2.5 million by the end of 2020.
The healthcare sector which was started from 2 million jobs in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1990 which further increased to 11 million in 2000 and reached to the peak of 16 million by the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the 60-year period. You have successfully highlighted the main features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that healthcare recorded the highest number of jobs from 1960 is incorrect, as manufacturing was higher for the first several decades. Additionally, the claim that the agricultural and retail sectors started at the same level is not fully supported by the data provided. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant shifts more accurately and avoid making comparative claims that are not clearly reflected in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In manufacturing sector' and 'The agriculture sector', to transition between points. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and some transitions are missing or repetitive. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid, particularly when comparing the different sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'exponentially', and 'marginally'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'economical sectors' should be 'economic sectors', and 'the jobs market' is used inconsistently. There is also a slight repetition of phrases like 'job market'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and ensure that your collocations are natural. Expanding your vocabulary to include more varied ways to describe growth and decline would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in US', 'in manufacturing sector') and awkward phrasing ('which was started from'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'the its economic valuation changed marginally'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to article usage and ensure that your sentence structures are grammatically sound and punctuated correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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