Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates employment trends in four main economical sectors of US including manufacturing, retail , agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.
Overall the US economy has faced fluctuations in job market in the period of 60 years. The healthcare sector of US has recorded the highest number jobs from 1960 to 2020. The agricultural and retail sector started at same employment status, faced opposite growth trends, downward and upward respectively.
In the manufacturing sector, the jobs market rose from 15 million to 20 million from 1960 to 1990 and then it dropped continuously by the end of 2020. The job market in the retail sector started from 6 million in 1960 rose exponentially by 2000 after which the its economic valuation changed marginally.
The agriculture sector was at 6 million in 1960, but it declined to 3.5 million in 1990, remain unchanged by 2000 and then hit a low of 2.5 million by the end of 2020.
The healthcare sector which was started from 2 million jobs in 1960 increased to 5 million in 1990 which further increased to 11 million in 2000 and reached to the peak of 16 million by the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; the healthcare sector did not record the highest number of jobs for the entire period, as manufacturing was higher for several decades. Additionally, the statement that agriculture and retail started at the same status is incorrect based on the provided data (6 million vs 6 million is correct, but the trends are described somewhat loosely). To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview captures the most significant shifts more precisely and avoids minor factual misinterpretations of the data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally smooth. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. For instance, the transition between paragraphs could be improved to better link the contrasting trends. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the internal cohesion within paragraphs relies on simple structures. Using a wider variety of linking words and referencing (e.g., 'the former', 'the latter') would enhance the flow and help the response move beyond a basic, list-like description of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more precise terminology like 'fluctuations', 'exponentially', and 'marginally'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'economical sectors' (should be 'economic sectors') and 'the healthcare sector which was started from' (should be 'which started at'). The phrase 'economic valuation' is also misused in the context of job numbers. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring that terms are used in their correct context to describe trends and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in US', 'in retail sector'), incorrect verb forms ('remain unchanged' instead of 'remained'), and awkward phrasing ('the healthcare sector which was started from'). There are also punctuation issues, such as the missing space before the comma in 'retail , agriculture'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences would significantly improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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