Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The pie chart depicts information about the number of work in four section of the economy in the us between given time period 1960 and 2020

Overall, a myopic observation is enough to cite that the health care shows the upword trend in line chart

In detail,in 1960 healthcare was two million jobs and they shows upword trend in year 1980 jobs was five million.the healthcare was highest trend in next year . In year 2000 the jobs was 11 millon.In addition, the last year they had stop is 15 million . Moreover, the agriculture depicts lowest trend in initial year the work was 6 million and the line has down in next year they had 4 million . In year 2000 they had same jobs . In last year the line had down and stop the 3 million

Furthermore, retail was highest jobs in all year . In year 1960 the line was 6 million.the line was upword trend in 2nd year they stop 10 million jobs . In year 2000 was 20 million jobs .the chart shows straight line last year and jobs was 16 million.Manufacturing in all year jobs was 15 million,20 million,12 million,13 million respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by describing the trends in four sectors. However, it fails to provide a clear overview of the main features as required by the task. The data reporting is inconsistent and often inaccurate; for instance, the description of manufacturing data is presented as a list of numbers without context or comparison. The 'myopic observation' in the introduction is not an appropriate way to frame an overview. Furthermore, the response lacks meaningful comparisons between the sectors, focusing instead on isolated, sometimes incorrect, data points. To improve, you must identify the most significant trends and differences, such as which sector grew the most or which remained the most stable, rather than listing figures for each year.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'In detail' and 'Furthermore', which do not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is also unclear; for example, 'the line has down in next year' is confusing and lacks proper transition. The structure of the sentences within paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the trends. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus on a specific trend or comparison.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'line', and 'upward/downward'. There are several instances of inaccurate word choice, such as 'myopic observation' (which is inappropriate in this context) and 'the last year they had stop'. The spelling and word formation are also problematic, for example, 'upword' instead of 'upward' and 'millon' instead of 'million'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To improve, learn and use more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', 'experienced a decline', and 'accounted for'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they shows', 'healthcare was two million jobs'), incorrect tense usage, and missing articles. The sentence structures are predominantly simple and often fragmented, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many sentences lacking proper capitalization or ending with incorrect punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. You should also aim to combine simple sentences into more complex structures using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.

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