Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given chart illustrates details about the number of jobs in millions in four sectors namely - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy between 1960 to 2020.
From an overall standpoint, it is readily apparent that manufacturing jobs peaked in 1980 but then lead to a slow decline till 2020 whereas, the overall retail market kept generating more jobs from 1960 to 2020. Agriculture remained a declining sector throughout decades.
In terms of totality, we can state that the manufacturing jobs were noticibly highest in 1980 compared to all other sectors by 15 million. The overall agriculture sectore kept declining from atleast 5 million in 1980 to next to nothing by the time it reached 2020.
Overall, a surge is observed in retail and healthcare sector throughout the duration, healthcare was the lowest sector generating jobs in the initial years but it rose, in 2020 it generated around 11 million job oppurtunities which still kept growing in 2020 which was recorded to have around15 million jobs. Similarily, the retail sector also increased from only 6 million jobs in 1960 to 15 million in 2020.
The fastest growing jobs were recorded in the health sector in comparison to all the other sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the response lacks precision in reporting specific data points. For instance, stating that agriculture went to 'next to nothing' is imprecise for an academic report; it is better to state that it fell to approximately 1 million. Additionally, there is some confusion in the final paragraph regarding the healthcare figures, as the text mentions 11 million and 15 million for the same year (2020), which contradicts the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organised into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'in terms of', and 'similarly' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother, and some sentences feel repetitive. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the final paragraph is slightly confusing due to the contradictory data points mentioned, which impacts the overall flow and clarity of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'peaked', 'decline', and 'surge'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'noticibly', 'sectore', 'oppurtunities', and 'similarily', which are distracting. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, the precision is sometimes lacking. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message, but it does not show the flexibility or sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'lead to a slow decline' (should be 'led to'), 'in 2020 it generated... which still kept growing in 2020', and 'the manufacturing jobs were noticibly highest'. These errors, along with some awkward phrasing, indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence construction could be more varied and accurate to improve the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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