Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The multi line graph illustrates the records about number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the country US between the year of 1960 to 2020. The unit of measurement is in millions.
Overall, Line chart shows that the manufacturing was trending sector at initial but falls after. However, the sectors like retail and healthcare are steadily raising and the jobs in agriculture is continuously falling from the start.
The jobs in manufacturing sector is highest in 1960 at the count of 15 millions and increase till 20 millions in the year of 1980. Although, It was increasing at start but after the year 1980 it started falling from 20 millions to around 16 millions in 2000 and goes decreasing till almost 13 millions in 2020.
However, The sector retail and Healthcare shows same raise and in the year of 2020 they both were at same number of jobs almost 16 millions. But the performance of retail and agriculture start at same number of jobs which were around 6 millions in 1960 but the agriculture sector goes on drowning around 2 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is a bit repetitive, and the comparison between retail and agriculture could be more precise. While the main features are reported, the overview is slightly disjointed. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview clearly synthesises the most significant trends rather than just listing them, and provide more accurate data points to support the comparisons made.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the use of 'However' at the start of the final paragraph is confusing because it does not contrast with the previous information. Additionally, some sentences are linked poorly, such as 'The jobs in manufacturing sector is highest in 1960 at the count of 15 millions and increase till 20 millions in the year of 1980. Although, It was increasing...'. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider range of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are some awkward word choices, such as 'trending sector' instead of 'dominant sector' or 'growing sector', and 'drowning' to describe a decline in jobs, which is not an appropriate collocation. While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision required for a higher band. Incorporating more academic collocations related to trends and data would significantly improve the lexical quality of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('The jobs... is highest'), incorrect article usage ('the country US'), and pluralisation errors ('15 millions'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to vary sentence structures by using more complex forms like relative clauses or passive voice more accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.