Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the statistical data of total amount of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was highest in demand but after five decades there was gradual decrease in number of people. However, Retail and Agriculture saw a gradual increase throughout the years. Healthcare sector has a decline in numbers throughout.

Initially, in 1960 manufacturing was highest in demand compared to other three sectors by 15 millions, and the amount kept increasing till 1990 by 20 millions. Although, after 1990 there was gradual decline, by approximately 17 millions in 2000 to 13 millions in 2020 intersecting Retail and Agriculture. Nevertheless, Agriculture sector started with 2 millions in 1960s and increased gradually by 15 millions in 2000 meeting Retail sector.

In 1960, Retail and Healthcare started together by approximately 5.5 millions. Retail had a gradual increase from 10 millions in 1990 to 15 millions in 2020 whereas Healthcare sector had a steady decline from 3 millions in 1990 to 2 millions in 2020. However, there was a steady number between 1990 to 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student provides a clear overview of the graph, mentioning key trends such as the increase in Retail and Agriculture sectors, while also recognizing the decline in Manufacturing and Healthcare. However, the analysis lacks detailed numerical evidence to support these trends, such as actual figures from the graph. Furthermore, there are some inaccuracies in the presentation of data, particularly regarding Healthcare figures which seem incorrect. Full credit cannot be awarded as the response does not fully summarize the main features. Overall, the task achievement could be improved by including specific figures and clearer trend descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The structure of the response is generally logical, with a clear introduction, overview, and segmented analysis of each sector. However, there are instances where the coherence suffers; for example, the transitions between sentences can be smoother to help guide the reader through the arguments. Comparison phrases could also enhance clarity, such as using 'in contrast' or 'similarly' to link ideas more effectively. More cohesive devices could improve the flow of information between points about different sectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used in the response is somewhat limited and sometimes inaccurately applied. Phrases like "total amount of jobs" are vague and could be expressed more precisely as "total number of jobs." While the student does attempt to employ sector-specific terminology, sometimes the choice of words lacks variety. Enhancing lexical diversity could strengthen the response; for example, using terms like "employment" or "workforce" could be more appropriate than merely "jobs".

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The grammatical structures used in this response demonstrate competence but contain several errors that affect clarity. For instance, "was highest in demand but after five decades there was gradual decrease in number of people" lacks articles and needs rephrasing for fluency. Additionally, some sentences are run-ons, such as "However, Agriculture sector started with 2 millions in 1960s and increased gradually by 15 millions in 2000 meeting Retail sector." Varied sentence structures and accurate tense usage would improve the grammatical range and accuracy significantly.

Overall feedback

The student's response demonstrates an understanding of the basic trends shown in the graph and features a coherent structure. The strengths include a clear overview and attempts at comparative analysis. However, to improve, the student should strive for more numerical accuracy and detail in summarizing the trends. Additionally, enhancing the variety of vocabulary used and ensuring grammatical accuracy will lead to a stronger overall performance. Increasing the use of descriptive language and transitional phrases will also improve the clarity and flow of the narrative.

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