Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
this is the graph analysis in the job numbers in the sectors manufacturing,retail,agriculture,and healthcare from 1960 to 2020
In this graph analysis of the sudden rise, decline and stability of the sectors will be discussed.
In healthcare sector is clearly seen that after 1960's the jobs were started growing and there is sudden boost of jobs were seen after 1980's the jobs in between 5 million start growing and raised up to 15 million.
In manufacturing sector the jobs were approximately 15 million in 1980's the jobs were grown to around 20 million and it is clearly seen that on the same time jobs were declined in between 10 to 15 million in 2020.
In 1960's the retails sector were around 5 million and in 2000's it was grown to 15 million and stabilize in 2020 above 15 million.
The agriculture was above 5 million in 1960's and in 1980's it drops to below 5 million and continue dropping till 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the main trends. While you mention 'sudden rise, decline and stability', this is not fully supported by a clear synthesis of the data. The report lacks a clear 'main feature' or 'significant trend' statement. Some data points are imprecise (e.g., 'in between 10 to 15 million'), and the comparison between sectors is limited. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview paragraph that highlights the most significant changes across the entire period, rather than just listing sector-by-sector descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is mechanical. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas together; for example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The use of referencing is limited, and the structure relies heavily on a repetitive 'In [sector]...' format. To improve, use a wider range of linking words such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Conversely' to show the relationship between the different economic sectors and their varying trends over time.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic verbs like 'growing', 'raised', 'declined', and 'drops'. There is little attempt to use less common or more precise vocabulary related to data analysis (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', 'downward trend'). Some phrasing is awkward, such as 'in this graph analysis of the sudden rise... will be discussed', which is grammatically and lexically imprecise. To reach a higher band, focus on using a variety of verbs and nouns to describe trends and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the healthcare sector', 'the retails sector'), verb tenses ('jobs were started growing'), and prepositions. Sentence structures are simple and often lack correct punctuation. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retails sector were') are noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing past data, and using articles correctly before nouns.
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