Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall the most trending sectors whose economy increases at peak are health care and retail from these years.

The lines trend of manufacturing first increases about 15 millions individuals did their job in manufacturing industries but between 1980 to 2020 it's become inclined.However the graph decsribes the downward trend of agriculture from these years. Only 5 millions people got the opportunity to job in this sector but the passage of time it's decreases between 1960 to 1980 and after that is remains constant and then again inclined.

Furthermore, the line graph demonstrates the increasing trend of healthcare economy and retail economy. Healthcare economy starts without any millions job but as the time passed and in 2020 year it's economy enhances from 0 to 15 million jobs. On the other hand the financial income of retail grows with the passage of time from 5 millions to 15 million jobs. The graph shows that both lines of these two sectors meet at the same point at the end of the year 2020 shows equal jobs without any difference.

At the end the graph explains how the economy increases and decreases with the passing year by providing jobs opportunities. The number of jobs in healthcare and retail companies enhances from 1960 to 2020 and reach at same point. In contrary the economy of agriculture and manufacturing come towards downward and provide less job opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, the claim that healthcare started at 'zero' is not supported by the graph, and the description of manufacturing trends is confusing and imprecise. The overview provided in the first paragraph is weak, as it does not clearly summarise the most significant overall trends. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately and that the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors, such as the clear divergence between the growth of service-based sectors and the decline of traditional industries.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'In contrary' and the repetitive use of 'with the passage of time'. The logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing, such as 'the lines trend of manufacturing'. While the essay is coherent enough to be understood, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional misuse of cohesive devices prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'economy', 'jobs', and 'increases'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'inclined' used to describe a downward trend, and 'enhances' used in place of 'grows' or 'rises'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of control over collocations and the misuse of words like 'individuals did their job' limit the score. Expanding the range of synonyms and focusing on accurate collocations would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it's become inclined', 'it's decreases'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction ('the most trending sectors whose economy increases at peak'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding the use of commas. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from achieving a higher score. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic agreement errors would be beneficial.

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