Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in millions including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US from the period 1960 and 2020.
overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector has the higher figure in 1960. while, the jobs in retail and agriculture sector became the highest in 2020 by overtaking the manufacturing sector.
In 1960, manufacturing sector has recorded the highest figure at approximately 15 million jobs. which steadily rose to 20 million by 1990. then consistantly dropped at around 13 million in 2020. Together, the figure for Reatil and healthcare sector stood at about 6 million in 1960, after that, retail sector considerably climed at about 15 million by 2020. In contrast healthcare sector declined approximately at 1 million in 2020.
Futhermore, the number of jobs in healthcare department were at the lowest at just 1 million in 1960 which significantly grew to 11 million in 2020 and 16 million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector declined to 1 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows it grew significantly. Furthermore, the final paragraph contains contradictory information, stating the healthcare sector grew to 11 million and 16 million by 2020. These factual errors regarding the data provided in the prompt hinder the task achievement, as the summary does not accurately reflect the information presented in the visual aid.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'while' is used incorrectly at the start of a sentence in the second paragraph, and 'Together' is used inappropriately to introduce the retail and healthcare sectors. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed due to these errors in linking. While there is a clear attempt at an overall structure, the lack of precise cohesive devices and some awkward transitions limit the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary range is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use basic verbs like 'climed' (spelling error) and 'dropped'. There are also issues with word choice, such as referring to the healthcare sector as a 'department'. Some terms are used repetitively, and there are spelling errors like 'consistantly' and 'Futhermore'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'downward trend', while ensuring accurate spelling throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'The line graph illustrate' and 'manufacturing sector has recorded'. Punctuation is also problematic, with several sentence fragments, such as 'which steadily rose to 20 million by 1990.' and 'which significantly grew to 11 million in 2020'. These errors are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over complex structures, keeping the score in the 5.0 to 5.5 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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