Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates the information for 20 years period from 1960 to 2020. The data is about four sectors of economy which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

The number of jobs in retail shows rising trend overall period, from 1960 to 2020. Healthcare also depicts an increasing trend throughout the period with the steepest rate. On the other hand, agriculture shows a declining trend overall period. The manufacturing sector shows fluctuations. As it rises from 1960 to 1980 with its highest point at 20 million jobs, but from 1980 it shows a decreasing trend.

The agriculture sector slightly decreased from [redacted phone] but then over two decades it got plateaued and then decreases with slighter rate. However, the healthcare sector shows a moderate increase over the first two decades but later on form 1980 rises substantially. The manufacturing sector rises from 15 million jobs to 20 million jobs but, from the onwards depicts a declining rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant features, such as the overall dominance of the retail sector or the dramatic shift in healthcare. The description of the data is sometimes repetitive, particularly when discussing the manufacturing sector, which is mentioned in both the second and third paragraphs. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors rather than just listing trends. The data points are generally accurate, but the analysis could be more cohesive to better highlight the comparative aspects of the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetition. For instance, the manufacturing sector is discussed in the second paragraph and then revisited in the third, which disrupts the progression of ideas. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand' and 'However', the transitions between sentences feel somewhat mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'from the onwards', which is grammatically awkward and confusing. Improving the logical grouping of information—perhaps by grouping sectors by their overall trend (increasing vs. decreasing)—would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You rely on basic descriptors like 'rising trend', 'declining trend', and 'increasing trend'. While these are accurate, they are repetitive. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'got plateaued' (should be 'plateaued') and 'with slighter rate' (should be 'at a slower rate'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for change and movement, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and ensure that collocations are used correctly to convey precise meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'illustrates the information for 20 years period' (missing articles), 'from 1980 it shows' (should be 'from 1980 onwards'), and 'form 1980' (spelling error). The use of prepositions and articles is inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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