Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four departments of the economy in the US among 1960 to 2020.
Manufacturing sector performed so well, it went up during 1960 to 1980 and then it went down till 2020. Retail and Healthcare departments started from low number of jobs and then keep going up during these years. Agriculture department performance line went down during 1960 to 1980 and keep fell down till 2020.
Manufacturing department started with 15 million jobs and surge up to 20 million during 1980 and then this section performance keep falling down until 2020, Whereas Retail and Healthcare department started from low number jobs and performance of this section was keep going up during these years up to 2020. Agriculture sector started from 5 million jobs and it went down in 1980 and then it become steady during 1980 to 2000 and again there was a down fall between 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is weak; it is integrated into the body paragraphs rather than being presented as a clear summary of the main features. The data reporting is somewhat repetitive, and the description of the trends lacks precision. For instance, stating that the Agriculture sector 'become steady' during 1980 to 2000 is a slight misinterpretation of the visual data. To improve, ensure you provide a distinct overview paragraph that highlights the most significant changes, such as the overall growth in service-related sectors versus the decline in primary and secondary industries.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of cohesive devices. The transition between the general overview and the specific data points is abrupt. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'whereas', the overall flow is mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'this section performance', which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. Improving the use of cohesive devices and ensuring clear paragraph breaks would significantly enhance the readability of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'went up', 'went down', and 'keep going up'. There is little evidence of a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends in a graph. Phrases like 'performed so well' are informal and imprecise for an Academic Task 1 report. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined steadily', 'experienced a surge', or 'remained stable'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid the repetitive phrasing currently present in the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'Agriculture department performance line went down... and keep fell down' is grammatically incorrect. There is also a lack of variety in sentence structures, with most sentences following a simple subject-verb-object pattern. Punctuation is inconsistent, and there are errors in article usage (e.g., 'Agriculture department' instead of 'The agriculture department'). To improve, focus on using a mix of complex sentence structures and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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