Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of employments in four different field namely manufacturing, retail, Agriculture and healthcare, in the America economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the number of individuals chosen job in retail and healthcare, it showed an upward trend throughout the period, however agriculture sector recorded the lowest jobs. Manufacturing sector provided jobs in starting was high.
visualizing the statistics, the highest number of jobs provided by manufacturing sector accounted for 15 millions in 1960, after 2 decades, it inclined dramatically, reached their picked at 20 millions, it decrease steadily to 2020, recorded jobs below the 15 millions.
Furthermore, the retail and agriculture sectors provided employment in 1960, it similar at 5 millions, but in next 60 year, both were following the opposite trend, former sector increase gradually in providing jobs, meanwhile latter sector was declined in given time period. Moreover, the health care sector followed the same trend of retail sector, reached at similar point in 2020 stood at just over 15 millions and surpassed the manufacturing industry.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, cohesive overview. While the key features are mentioned, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing, particularly the claim that it 'inclined dramatically' to 20 million before decreasing. The data interpretation is generally accurate, but the lack of a strong summary paragraph at the beginning or end limits the overall impact. To reach a higher band, ensure that the 'overview' clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'visualizing the statistics' and 'in next 60 year' feel forced or grammatically awkward. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing (e.g., 'former sector', 'latter sector') is used correctly but within sentences that are structurally weak. Improving the flow between sentences by using more natural linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is limited and contains several inaccuracies. Words like 'employments' (should be 'employment'), 'field' (should be 'sectors'), and 'picked' (should be 'peak') indicate a lack of precision. There is an attempt to use more sophisticated language, but the collocations are often unnatural, such as 'individuals chosen job'. To improve, focus on using sector-specific terminology correctly and ensuring that word forms (nouns vs. verbs) are used accurately in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in the America economy'), incorrect verb tenses ('agriculture sector recorded the lowest jobs'), and awkward phrasing ('it similar at 5 millions'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with proper punctuation and conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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