Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four divisions of the economy namely: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the number of job vacancies in retail and agriculture increased slightly throughout the period, while the demand in healthcare field dipped marginally in the initial timeframe, which then remained almost stable by the end of the period. In contrast, manufacturing experienced fluctuations, in the start it grew dramatically, after twenty years it fell considerably over the period.
In 1960, manufacturing was demanding field, the number of jobs rose significantly from 15 millions in 1960 to 20 millions in 1980. Then it dropped sharply to roughly 17 millions in 2000, before hitting a low at approximately 13 millions in 2020.
However, healthcare vacancies started from around 6 millions in 1960, it declined marginally to nearly 3 millions, and remained almost unchanged till 2020 at around 2 millions. The number of jobs in retail and agriculture were around 6 millions and 2 millions in 1960 respectively, it climbed minimally to 10 millions and 4 millions in 1980, further the number surged and peaked at approximately 16 millions in 2020 for each correspondingly.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the period. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the text states that healthcare 'remained almost unchanged' at 2 million, but the graph shows a decline from 6 million to 2 million, which is a substantial change. Additionally, the description of retail and agriculture as 'climbing minimally' to 10 and 4 million before surging to 16 million is confusing and does not accurately reflect the visual data provided. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'However', and 'In 1960' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'further the number surged and peaked at approximately 16 millions in 2020 for each correspondingly'. The use of referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within the final paragraph is slightly muddled due to the grouping of disparate data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive language like 'fluctuations', 'dramatically', and 'surged'. However, there are consistent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing was demanding field' (should be 'a demanding field') and '15 millions' (the plural 's' is incorrect when preceded by a number). Some vocabulary is repetitive, and the precision required for reporting data is lacking, which limits the score to the 6.0 band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with article usage ('in the start', 'in healthcare field') and subject-verb agreement. The pluralization of 'millions' when used with a specific number is a recurring error. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure in the final paragraph is somewhat run-on and lacks clarity.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.