Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph gives information about the united states economy in four sectors of work for six decades between 1960 and 2020. the jobs are in millions.

Following the line graph, healthcare had the least job economy following the year 1980s manufacturing had the highest economy individual throughout the year respectively,

after two decades agriculture had a decline in number by four million and following same year retail had gradual increase up to ten million economy.

Between 2 decades , 2000 and 2020 we can illustrate agriculture was having challenges and it went declining rate through out different year, similarly manufacturing also got reduced by sixteen million and retailed had vice versa , retail got very impacted on the united states on breaking the economy and healthcare also aid in increasing economies, between two decades both healthcare and retailed had sixteen million jobs opportunities in united states.

manufacturing was having difficult time during two decades, 2000 and 2020 it firmly decreased from sixteen million to thirteen million,

Overall the data of six decades shows how retail and healthcare were increasing and manufacturing and agriculture gradually decreasing via years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. While it mentions the four sectors, the description of trends is often confusing or factually inconsistent with the provided graph. For example, the claim that manufacturing had the 'highest economy individual' is unclear, and the specific figures cited (e.g., 'sixteen million') are not consistently supported by the visual data. The overview is present but lacks the necessary precision to highlight the main features effectively. To improve, focus on identifying clear trends (e.g., the steady rise of healthcare vs. the decline of agriculture) and ensure that data points are accurately extracted and compared.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks logical progression. The paragraphing is ineffective, with the text appearing as a series of disjointed sentences rather than a cohesive report. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'following' and 'between 2 decades'. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the sectors. To improve, use clear transition signals to connect ideas and group related information into distinct paragraphs (e.g., one for rising sectors and one for declining sectors) to create a more structured and readable response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often used inaccurately. Phrases like 'job economy' and 'highest economy individual' are not standard English and do not accurately describe the data. There is a reliance on basic vocabulary, and the misuse of terms like 'vice versa' and 'aid in increasing economies' hinders clarity. The student struggles to use precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable.' To improve, focus on learning specific collocations for describing graphs, such as 'a significant increase,' 'a downward trend,' or 'remained constant.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, including run-on sentences and comma splices (e.g., 'healthcare had the least job economy following the year 1980s manufacturing had...'). Punctuation is inconsistent, with many sentences lacking proper capitalization or ending punctuation. Subject-verb agreement and tense usage are also problematic, such as 'retail had vice versa' and 'agriculture was having challenges.' The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, poorly constructed sentences. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for punctuation is essential.

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