Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

he line graph shows information about the United States economy in four areas of work for six decades between 1960 and 2020. The jobs are in millions.

Following the line graph healthcare had the least job economy following the year 1980s manufacturing had the highest economy individual throughout the year respectively

after two decades agriculture had a decline in number by four million and following year retail had gradual increase up to ten million economy.

Between 2 decades, 2000 and 2020 we can illustrate agriculture was having challenges and it went declining rate through out year similarly manufacturing also got reduced by sixteen million and retailed had vice versa retail got very impacted on the united states on breaking the economy and healthcare also aid in increasing economies between two decades both healthcare and retailed had sixteen million jobs opportunities in united states.

Manufacturing was having time during two decades, 2000 and 2020 it firmly decreased from sixteen million, to thirteen million

Overall the data of six decades shows how retail and healthcare were increasing and manufacturing and agriculture gradually decreasing via years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, but the information is often inaccurate or confusingly presented. For example, the claim that 'manufacturing had the highest economy' is vague, and the description of trends between 2000 and 2020 is difficult to follow due to unclear data reporting. While you identify the four sectors, the lack of precise data points and the misinterpretation of the trends (e.g., the confusing mention of 'sixteen million' for both healthcare and retail) mean the task is only partially addressed. To improve, focus on clearly stating the starting and ending values for each sector and identifying the most significant trends rather than listing isolated figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the phrase 'Following the line graph' or 'retailed had vice versa'. These transitions do not effectively link the information, making the text feel disjointed. The referencing is also unclear; for instance, it is difficult to determine which specific time periods or sectors are being compared in the fourth paragraph. Improving the use of linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', and 'subsequently' would help create a more coherent flow between your observations.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, with frequent misuse of terms. Words like 'economy' are used incorrectly to refer to 'jobs' or 'employment sectors'. Phrases such as 'had the least job economy' and 'retailed had vice versa' are unnatural and impede the reader's understanding. There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs and nouns related to trends (e.g., 'decline', 'increase', 'fluctuate'). To reach a higher band, you should learn specific collocations for describing graphs, such as 'experienced a steady decline' or 'reached a peak of'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and missing punctuation, which make the text difficult to parse. For example, 'manufacturing had the highest economy individual throughout the year respectively' is syntactically incoherent. Additionally, there are errors in verb tense usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While simple sentences are attempted, the lack of control over complex structures limits the range. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb will significantly improve clarity.

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