Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows information about the United States economy in four areas of work for six decades between 1960 and 2020. The jobs are in millions.

Following the line graph healthcare had the least job economy following the year 1980s manufacturing had the highest economy individual throughout the year respectively

After two decades agriculture had a decline in number by four million and following year retail had gradual increase up to ten million economy.

In 1960, Manufacturing was by far the largest provider of jobs at 15 million, peaking at 20 million in 1980. However, this sector subsequently contracted, dropping to 17 million in 2000 and eventually falling to 13 million by 2020. In contrast, Retail started at 6 million in 1960 and climbed steadily over the decades, overtaking Manufacturing around 2015 to reach 16 million by the end of the timeframe.

Healthcare began as the smallest sector in 1960 alongside Agriculture, offering only 2 million jobs. Over the following six decades, Healthcare witnessed substantial and uninterrupted expansion, matching Manufacturing at approximately 14 million jobs in 2015 and concluding at 16 million in 2020. Conversely, Agriculture started at 6 million jobs in 1960, dipped sharply to 3 million in 1980, and then slowly diminished to finish at just under 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You highlighted the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the first two paragraphs are problematic. The second and third paragraphs contain confusing phrasing and grammatical errors that obscure the information, such as 'healthcare had the least job economy' and 'following year retail had gradual increase'. While the later paragraphs are much stronger and provide accurate data, the initial confusion impacts the overall clarity of the summary. To improve, ensure your introductory summary is concise and avoid repetitive or unclear sentences at the start of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the transition between the introductory paragraphs and the body paragraphs is disjointed. The second and third paragraphs are particularly difficult to follow due to poor sentence structure and a lack of clear cohesive devices. While you use some linking words like 'However', 'In contrast', and 'Conversely' effectively in the latter half of the essay, the overall flow is interrupted by the disjointed nature of the opening. Improving the logical progression between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus will help you achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'contracted', 'steadily', 'substantial', and 'uninterrupted expansion'. These are appropriate for an academic task. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'job economy' (which is not standard usage) and 'following the year 1980s'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing data trends and ensure that your word choices are natural and contextually accurate. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'In 1960, Manufacturing was by far the largest provider of jobs at 15 million, peaking at 20 million in 1980.' This shows an ability to handle complex information. However, there are frequent errors in the first half of the essay, including missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and awkward phrasing that hinders readability. For example, 'following the year 1980s' and 'following year retail had gradual increase'. While the second half of the essay is much more accurate, the persistent errors in the earlier sections prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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