Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This is a line graph representing different jobs across the US economy during 1960 to 2020. The market has been divided into four sectors in the market as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Until 1980, there was positive reflection from all the other sectors except from agriculture. It is evident that from 1960 onwards there was decline in the number of jobs whereas healthcare segment depicts demand of more population to be engaged in this area.
Over the years, retails has also widened its horizons by creating more opportunities which is shown in the visual presentation that, by year 2020, retail had similar figures with that of healthcare.
Lastly, the manufacturing, initially had sharp rise till 1980 only as after that it kept on declining. Though, its was falling from a steady speed which further evaluates that overall over the years the change was not drastic. Therefore, it is a good market to invest due to less fluctuations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the four sectors, but the analysis is superficial and lacks precision. While you identify some trends, you fail to provide specific data points or clear comparisons between the sectors at key intervals (e.g., 1960 or 2020). The final paragraph includes an inappropriate subjective opinion ('it is a good market to invest'), which is not required in an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, focus on selecting key figures from the graph to support your descriptions rather than making general observations. The overview is also missing; you should provide a clear summary of the main trends at the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical, such as 'Until 1980' and 'Lastly'. Some transitions are awkward, for instance, 'Though, its was falling from a steady speed which further evaluates that...'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed in relation to others. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. Phrases like 'positive reflection' and 'widened its horizons' are imprecise in this context. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'depicts demand of more population'. You rely on basic descriptors and struggle to use academic terminology effectively to describe trends (e.g., 'sharp rise', 'declining'). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns related to data analysis, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You make several grammatical errors, such as 'its was falling' (should be 'it was falling') and 'retail had similar figures with that of healthcare' (should be 'similar figures to those of healthcare'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of comparative structures will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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