Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four divisions of the economy namely: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the number of job vacancies in retail and healthcare increased slightly throughout the period, while the demand in an agriculture field dipped marginally in the initial timeframe, which then remained almost stable by the end of the period. In contrast, manufacturing experienced fluctuations; in the start it grew dramatically, after twenty years it fell considerably over the period.
In 1960, manufacturing was a demanding field, the number of jobs rose significantly from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. Then it dropped sharply to roughly 17 million in 2000, before hitting a low at approximately 13 million in 2020.
However, agriculture vacancies started from around 6 million in 1960, it declined marginally to nearly 3 million, and remained almost unchanged till 2020 at around 2 million. The number of jobs in retail and healthcare were around 6 million and 2 million in 1960 respectively, it climbed minimally to 10 million and 4 million in 1980, further the number surged and peaked at approximately 16 million in 2020 for each correspondingly.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview. You have selected key data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the final figures for retail and healthcare. However, the task achievement is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that retail and healthcare peaked at 16 million in 2020, but the graph shows them reaching different levels (retail at 16 million and healthcare at 12 million). Additionally, the description of manufacturing as 'demanding' is slightly imprecise in this context. Overall, the main features are covered, but greater precision in data interpretation is required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'However', and 'before hitting a low' to link ideas effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing in the final paragraph (e.g., 'it climbed minimally') is a bit ambiguous as it refers to multiple subjects simultaneously. Overall, the flow is logical and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'dramatically', 'sharply', and 'surged'. There is some attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'demanding field' to describe a sector with high employment. There are also minor issues with collocation, such as 'in an agriculture field' (should be 'in the agricultural sector'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, but more precise terminology would elevate the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are error-free, there are recurring grammatical slips. For example, 'the number of jobs in retail and healthcare were' should be 'was' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, there are comma splices and run-on sentences, such as 'manufacturing was a demanding field, the number of jobs rose...' and '...in 1960 respectively, it climbed...'. These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for better control over punctuation and complex sentence construction to reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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