Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in the four sectors of economy in US between 1960 and 2020. In the graph, the scales are mentioned with the year in X-Axis and job in millions in Y-Axis. Moreover, the sectors mentioned in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare.
In 1980's, Manufacturing sector had a numerous jobs compared to other sectors where Agriculture was recorded the least. And both Retail and Healthcare was in the inclining stage compared to 1960.
In the period of [redacted phone], Healthcare and Retail was in the upward trends. It was a major contribution from the sectors to the economy. As Agriculture remained the same as in 1980's. Where Manufacturing was at downtrend.
From 2000 to 2020, there were many changes in the economy in US. Many changes were happening throughout the period of time, like a slight declining in Agriculture and drastic downfall of manufacturing sector. Inclination of Retail and Healthcare can be observed.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the trends for the four sectors, the report lacks specific data points (e.g., exact figures in millions) to support your descriptions. The overview is missing; a clear summary of the overall trends—such as the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors—would have improved the score. Additionally, the description of the 1980s is slightly inaccurate as the graph starts in 1960, and you focus heavily on the latter half of the period. To improve, ensure you include specific data to illustrate your points and provide a clear, concise overview of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the chronological progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'In the period of 1980-2000' and 'Where Manufacturing was at downtrend' are used in a way that disrupts the flow. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'inclining stage', 'upward trends', and 'downtrend'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'numerous jobs' (which is vague) and 'drastic downfall' (which is slightly informal). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will help demonstrate a more sophisticated control of language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the sectors mentioned in Manufacturing' (should be 'include'), 'both Retail and Healthcare was' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'a slight declining' (incorrect word form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of articles and prepositions. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help ensure that your complex sentences are accurate and do not distract the reader from the information presented.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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