Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information on how the jobs are distributing in four different sectors are changing the economy of the United States, the period between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, America having the multiple sectors which is Health sector and Retail field saw a growth in jobs, While the Manufacturing field having highest jobs while starting of the period and end of the period is quite declining
and the final sector Agriculture saw very low jobs.
Firstly, Manufacturing sector is the highest jobs procuring field in the 1960 along with 15 million jobs while the following 1980 it reached to 20 million and after 2000 to 2020 continuous decline its reached to approximately 13 million. Significantly as same as Agriculture sector stared with the along 6 million jobs with continuing drop to 3 million from 1980 to 2000, by end of the year 2020 it stabilizing at 2.2 million jobs only. Moreover, Healthcare and Retail sectors performed very strong by continuous growth from 1960 to 2020 with same job holdings with 15.5 million approximately.
By contrast, Health and retail sectors are the major contribution for the economy driving the United States.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the overview is slightly confusing; it mentions 'America having the multiple sectors' which is grammatically awkward and lacks clarity. While the key features are highlighted, the data reporting is sometimes imprecise, such as stating Healthcare and Retail have 'same job holdings with 15.5 million approximately' at the end of the period, which is a generalization that could be more accurately supported by the graph. The response addresses the task requirements but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For instance, 'Significantly as same as Agriculture sector stared with the along 6 million' is difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often applied incorrectly or in a way that disrupts the flow of information. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences is not always smooth. The overall structure is present, but the progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors that make the text feel disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is limited and frequently repetitive. Words like 'jobs' and 'sector' are used repeatedly without variation. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'jobs procuring field', 'stared with the along', and 'major contribution for the economy driving'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted') and avoid literal translations of phrases that do not sound natural in English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('America having the multiple sectors'), tense usage ('Manufacturing sector is the highest jobs procuring field in the 1960'), and sentence structure (run-on sentences and fragments). Complex structures are attempted but are often faulty, such as 'While the Manufacturing field having highest jobs while starting of the period and end of the period is quite declining'. The student relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and the high frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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