Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information on how the jobs are distributing in four different sectors are changing the economy of the United States, the period between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, America having the multiple sectors which is Health sector and Retail field saw a growth in jobs, While the Manufacturing field having highest jobs while starting of the period and end of the period is quite declining
and the final sector Agriculture saw very low jobs.
Firstly, Manufacturing sector is the highest jobs procuring field in the 1960 along with 15 million jobs while the following 1980 it reached to 20 million and after 2000 to 2020 continuous decline its reached to approximately 13 million. Significantly as same as Agriculture sector stared with the along 6 million jobs with continuing drop to 3 million from 1980 to 2000, by end of the year 2020 it stabilizing at 2.2 million jobs only. Moreover, Healthcare and Retail sectors performed very strong by continuous growth from 1960 to 2020 with same job holdings with 15.5 million approximately.
By contrast, Health and retail sectors are the major contribution for the economy driving the United States.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat disjointed and lacks clarity. The data reporting is occasionally inaccurate; for instance, stating that Healthcare and Retail held the same number of jobs (15.5 million) is not clearly supported by the graph, and the description of the Manufacturing trend is slightly confusing. To improve, ensure that the overview clearly synthesises the main trends without repeating specific data points, and double-check the accuracy of the figures cited against the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'By contrast'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that makes the progression feel mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the overview where the connection between the sectors and the economy is not well-integrated. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'jobs procuring field' and 'same job holdings'. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'sectors', 'economy', 'stabilising'), the lack of precision and occasional misuse of terms (e.g., 'distributing' instead of 'distribution') restricts the score. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding the repetition of basic verbs like 'saw' or 'reached'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. For example, 'America having the multiple sectors' is a fragment, and 'Manufacturing sector is the highest jobs procuring field' lacks correct article usage. There is a mix of simple and complex structures, but the complex ones are often error-prone, which impedes the clarity of the message. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring consistent tense usage (e.g., using the past tense for historical data) would help improve the accuracy and readability of the writing.
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