Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line chats illustrate the numbers of jobs between four industries of economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was leading among all sectors followed by retail. However, healthcare also in competition between them and agriculture had dramatically fall-down over the period.

In manufacturing sector, opportunities of jobs were fifteen million in 1960 which shot up in nineteen million and reach to twenty millions. between 2000 to 2020 manufacturing was on the some point as retail was around fourteen millions.

In 1960s, retail was more then 5.2 millions and job market growth up to the 15.2 millions in 2020. It was impressive improvement in retail sector and some at 15.1 millions with manufacturing. Moreover, it was on same point with healthcare at 14.9 millions.

Furthermore, it can be seen in Agriculture that job market shrink in 2020 at around 1 million or below. but healthcare job market hints the sky from 2 millions in 1960 and 15.2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a general overview and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of manufacturing trends is confusing, and the claim that retail and manufacturing were at the same point in 2020 is not clearly supported by the data. While the main features are addressed, the lack of precision in data reporting and the failure to make clear, accurate comparisons between all four sectors throughout the period prevent a higher score. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail regarding the overall trajectory of the sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'some at 15.1 millions'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed in certain sentences. While there is an overall progression, the logical flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and imprecise phrasing, which hinders the clarity of the comparisons. Better use of linking words would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'numbers of jobs' and 'job market'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'hints the sky' (likely meant 'hit the sky' or 'skyrocketed') and 'dramatically fall-down'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline', rather than relying on informal or incorrect phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare also in competition'), preposition usage, and article usage (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector'). The misuse of tenses and awkward phrasing, such as 'shot up in nineteen million', significantly impacts the clarity of the information. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of grammatical errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors is necessary.

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