Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020, over a 60 year period.
Overall, the retail and healthcare field showed upward trend in the jobs, while the manufacturing and agriculture showed downward trend by the end of period.
In 1960, the manufacturing was at peak in compare to other three sectors, with 15 millions of jobs, while the healthcare field had least number of jobs which accounted for approximately 2 millions. The agriculture and retail had the same number of jobs in the beginning of period which accounted for more than 5 millions of jobs.
The manufacturing peaked at 20 millions of jobs in 1980, after that inn declined to around 14 millions of job by the end of 2020, while the jobs in retail and agriculture filed increased by the end of 2020 at more than 15 millions, while the employment status in agriculture field declined by the end of the period from around 6 millions to approximately 2 millions of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward and downward movements of the four sectors. You have successfully selected key data points, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the starting figures in 1960. However, there is a significant inaccuracy in the final paragraph regarding the retail and agriculture sectors. You state that both increased to over 15 million, whereas the graph shows agriculture declining significantly. This misinterpretation of the data impacts the accuracy of your summary. To improve, ensure that your description of the trends strictly aligns with the visual evidence provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'while', 'in 1960', and 'after that' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and some mechanical transitions. For example, the use of 'by the end of the period' is repeated multiple times in the final paragraph, which makes the writing feel slightly formulaic. To reach a higher band, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the progression of ideas between sentences is smoother and less repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'peaked', and 'accounted for'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'in compare to' (should be 'compared to') and 'the healthcare field had least number of jobs' (should be 'the lowest number'). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'inn' instead of 'it'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit your score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise descriptors for trends, such as 'fluctuated' or 'remained stable', would enhance your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'The line graph illustrates...' and 'The manufacturing peaked at 20 millions of jobs in 1980, after that it declined...'. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing', 'the agriculture') and pluralization ('15 millions of jobs'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely cause confusion for the reader. To improve, focus on the correct use of articles with abstract nouns and ensure subject-verb agreement. Incorporating a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, would also help demonstrate better grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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