Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The give line graph presents information about four sectors which different number of jobs in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
As an overview, manufacturing sector was mostly dominant in the given years ;however, retail and agriculture took the lead in last few years.
At the first glance, jobs produced by manufacturing were 15 million ;meanwhile, a constant rise was witnessed for 2 decades and sectors reached its zenith in 1980 by giving 20 million jobs to people. After that the jobs reduced continuously and in 2020 nearly 13 million people were employed in this sector. Moreover, jobs in health care sector declined gradually in given years with 6 million jobs in 1960 and 2 million jobs in 2020.
Furthermore, the retail sector and agriculture sector showed a constant incline in number of jobs in given years. Primarily, retail sector gave 6 million jobs in 1960. The jobs given by this sector in 1980 and 2000 were 10 million and 15 million orderly. In 2020 this sector gave 16 million jobs.
Secondly, Agriculture sector also showed a similar rise and jobs in year 1960 were 2.5 million in this sector and in 2020 jobs were as same retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is inaccurate; the text claims manufacturing was 'mostly dominant' and that retail/agriculture 'took the lead', but the graph shows manufacturing starting high and declining, while retail and agriculture show growth but do not necessarily 'take the lead' over all other sectors combined. Furthermore, the data reporting contains inaccuracies, such as stating agriculture and retail ended at the same point in 2020, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. The summary lacks a clear, accurate synthesis of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'orderly' is used incorrectly to mean 'respectively', and 'secondly' is used to introduce a new paragraph rather than a point within a sequence. While there is a logical progression from one sector to the next, the transitions between sentences feel somewhat repetitive and forced, which limits the flow of the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'mostly dominant' and 'constant incline'. The word 'orderly' is used incorrectly in place of 'respectively'. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology, the range is limited, and the errors in word choice occasionally distract from the clarity of the report. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in given years', 'in retail sector'), incorrect verb forms ('jobs were as same retail sector'), and punctuation errors (e.g., the semicolon usage before 'however'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. The student needs to focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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