Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts details about the number of jobs in Manufacturing sector, Retail sector, Agriculture sector and Healthcare sector in the US between 1960 and 2020. It is quite evident that the highest number of jobs were in Manufacturing sector from 1960 to 2000.
It can be seen from the bar chart that in the year 1960 there were 15 million jobs in the Manufacturing sector after the two decades it was increased to 20 millions in the year 1980. In 2000 number of job decreased to around 17 million and in the there was a sudden fall down in number of jobs in the Manufacturing sector which was around 13 million. There are almost 6 million jobs in the Retail sector and it shows a upward trend, in till 2020 and become 16 million. The least number of jobs in 1960 was in the Healthcare sector, there were only 3 billion jobs which rose to 16 million in the year 2020 and become highest among all other three jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat limited. While you mention the Manufacturing and Healthcare sectors, the Agriculture sector is mentioned in the introduction but completely ignored in the body paragraphs. Additionally, there is a significant factual error: you state there were '3 billion jobs' in the Healthcare sector, which is impossible given the context of the US population. The overview is also quite brief. To reach a higher band, ensure all categories are addressed and data points are interpreted accurately without making logical errors regarding the scale of the figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into an introduction and two body paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the flow between sentences is often mechanical. Phrases like 'It can be seen from the bar chart' are used, but the transition between the data points is sometimes abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the jump between sectors is sudden. Improving the use of linking words such as 'consequently,' 'in contrast,' or 'meanwhile' would help create a more logical progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased,' 'decreased,' and 'rose.' There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'fall down' instead of 'decline' or 'drop,' and the misuse of 'billion' instead of 'million.' To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant surge.' Accuracy in reporting data is essential for a higher score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in the there was a sudden fall down' (missing subject/preposition error), 'it shows a upward trend, in till 2020' (incorrect preposition and punctuation), and 'become highest' (missing article 'the'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency also need attention. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic articles, prepositions, and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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