Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line graph describes changes in number of jobs in four different fields in the US during the time period of 1960 to 2020.The number of jobs is measured in millions.

Overall, the healthcare and retail sector have experienced a rise in employment whereas a decline can be seen in fields of manufacturing and agriculture. Agriculture contributes least in economy due to gradual decrease in number of jobs and manufacturing is the leading all other sectors throughout the time.

In 1960, healthcare had the least number of workers which was almost 2.5 million and retail had around 6 million workers. In both sectors the number of employees slowly reached on top in 2020 with approximately 15 million workers in each sector.

Manufacturing was leading in 1960 with 15 million number of jobs, which rapidly climbed to 20 million in 1980 but after that a steady decline was observed with 12 million jobs in 2020. Agriculture had around 6 million jobs in 1960 after which a decreasing trend is observed till 2020'

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. You successfully highlight the contrast between the rising sectors (healthcare and retail) and the declining ones (manufacturing and agriculture). However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing was the leading sector throughout the time, but the graph shows it was overtaken by healthcare and retail by 2020. Additionally, the description of agriculture as contributing the least is accurate, but the claim that manufacturing was the leading sector 'throughout the time' is factually incorrect based on the provided visual data. Improving the precision of your data interpretation will help you reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Overall,' 'In 1960,' and 'after which,' which help the reader follow the narrative. However, the cohesion is sometimes a bit mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between sentences feels more natural. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is grouped logically by sector trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'experienced a rise,' 'gradual decrease,' and 'steady decline.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'reached on top' (should be 'reached a peak' or 'peaked') and 'contributes least in economy' (should be 'contributes the least to the economy'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on more precise collocations and academic phrasing will enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in number of jobs,' 'in fields of manufacturing') and awkward phrasing ('manufacturing is the leading all other sectors'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though there is a stray apostrophe at the end of the text. To improve, focus on article usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement. The errors present do not impede communication, but they do occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

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